Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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