Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Houston, we have a squirter
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
