You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
