Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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