bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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