OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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