Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
