if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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