Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
