we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize