You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
