Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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