I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize