I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
