Having a random hookup so left but love u
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
