Your tits are I can't wait for
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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