Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
