Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
