their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
