fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
