wanna go halves on a baby?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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