apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
