tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize