just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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