you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
