I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
