oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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