I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
