he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
