he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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