i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
