This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize