careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
how does that bad decision feel?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
