Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm always down for nudity.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
