You really coming over, don't trick.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize