i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
