You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
