So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
