Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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