Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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