I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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