I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
