he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
