K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
