we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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