Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Randomize
