Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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