Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
