I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
