Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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