She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
