She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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