i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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