looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
