No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
