He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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