the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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