I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
be right there i have to get my cape
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
