dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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