People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
