so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize