Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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