I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i've created a new STD.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
