Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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