well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
