if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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