As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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