So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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