I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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