Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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