Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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