Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize