shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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