I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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