We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
