So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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