Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
barbara walters just said penis...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
