There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
