She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
