it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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