I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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