I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
