I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
