Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
