I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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