now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
