Do you still have your period?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
